Every alarm below rings the house chime — a soft two-note hit, not a smoke-detector scream. Test it before you start so the first one doesn't startle you into the pan.

Cut with an exacto. A food-only one.

A scalpel-thin blade parts an onion instead of crushing it, so the layers stay whole and the cell walls stop weeping at you. Onion goes translucent instead of mushy. Potatoes get faces flat enough to crisp.

Olive oil only. Butter goes on toast.

Butter's milk solids scorch long before the potatoes have any business browning — you get bitter brown flecks and a pan that smells like a mistake. Olive oil rides the heat, carries the lamb fat, and lets the potato faces go properly crisp. Butter has one job in this recipe: staying in the fridge.

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Brown the lamb

Large skillet over medium-high, dry — no oil. Lamb goes in and gets broken up as it cooks. Salt, pepper. Once it's browned and the fat has rendered, spoon off the excess if there's a lot.

Onion & garlic

Stir them into the rendered fat and cook until softened, about five minutes. Frozen onion goes in straight from the bag — it steams for a second, then behaves.

Potatoes, covered

Potatoes in with the tablespoon of olive oil. Stir well, drop the heat to medium, cover, and let them steam-fry ten minutes — stir once or twice so nothing catches.

Season, crisp, finish

Splash in the Worcestershire — you have it, you're not a savage. Taste for salt and pepper, then cook uncovered another five to ten until the potatoes are browned and tender. Melt cheese over the top, or fry an egg and set it on the hash.